I'm Broke & Acting Out
My brokeness is giving me delusions of grandeur.
Hello and welcome to my very first Personal Online Shopper newsletter. Thank you for trusting my impeccable taste and indulging in my obsession, spending money that I don’t have. To curb my insatiable shopping addiction, I’m turning to you to buy the things that I want. I know, I’m so giving.
This newsletter was a long time coming. I’m mad that it took me this long to finally write one. On my Finsta (my Fake Instagram, or private Instagram, and no you can’t get the handle) I would have a running series on my story called Wishlist where I would share the things I wanted. My DMs would be filled with people asking for links or discussing products. I was tempted to move my Wishlist series to my Rinsta (Real Instagram, keep up) because working in media has brainwashed me to feel uneasy, sick, and fake if I created content that couldn’t be shared to the masses. Pivoting to a newsletter makes total sense because I can include links, long winding anecdotes, and make some money. That being said, please subscribe!
I’m in between jobs right now, and I haven’t purchased new clothes just for fun in over three months. In my three-month shopping hiatus, I’ve created a list of things I need to buy when I have a regular full-time job again. The list is varied and indulgent, and I only share a small snippet of it below. It has everything from a classic signet ring to a leather A.P.C. bag. Hopefully, you find something you love in this wishlist, buy it, and let me borrow it! It’s the least you can do.
Wishlist
Cygnet Ring - Catbird
$54.00 - $218.00
Catbird is a fantastic jewelry store in Brooklyn that makes beautiful things, none that I can afford at the moment. But once I can buy something, I’m purchasing one of their new classic Cygnet rings. The rings come in two sizes and two materials, baby and grand, and silver and yellow gold. I’m partial to the baby yellow gold ring because I wear a thin hammered silver ring every day and I love the idea of the mini yellow gold Cygnet ring on my pinky next to my silver hammered ring. Can you picture it too? The subtle glamour. The casual coolness. I’m dying for this ring.
You can get an initial, number, or ampersand engraved on the ring if you like. I’m unsure if it’s standard to get your first or last initial, but I’m going to get my last initial.
Catbird ships worldwide, so no excuses! Their jewelry is to die for, and their Instagram is just as good. Give them a follow and tell them I sent you.
Dress - Rodarte x Universal Standard
$200.00
Universal Standard and Rodarte teamed up to release a small collection, and the dress is by far the best piece. It comes in pale pink, black, and red, and I’d like one of each.
The dress has everything I crave in a dress. It’s interesting to look at, but it is not trying too hard. I love the ruching on the side and the sleeves, the neckline, and the asymmetrical hem. There are just enough elements to make the dress something special, but not too overwhelming that it screams attention. And you can tell people it’s Rodarte, another subtle flex.
Continental 80 - Adidas Originals
$80.00
My sneaker preferences are pretty tame. I love something classic that I can wear every day, and doesn’t look bad worn in a bit. I had Adidas Superstars right before everyone got them and yes I wore them during their peak popularity. That’s when I realized I hate wearing mainstream sneakers. I replaced my Superstars with a pair of Reebok Club C 85. I wanted the Vintage blue pair, but they were sold out, so I opted for a classic white. I plan on replacing those with a pair of Adidas Continental 80.
I might have to buy the Continental 80 earlier than planned because they released a special Pride edition that I love. The Pride shoe is off white with a thin rainbow stripe on the side. It’s just enough color to spice up a classic white shoe.
If the Pride edition is sold out by the time I have money I’ll either buy the off-white gum sole Continentals or the white and gray striped Continentals. Either way, my next sneakers will be Continentals.
Betty Bag - A.P.C.
$500.00
I’m craving a classic red leather crossbody bag — not a deep red, or cherry red, but a true classic red. A.P.C. somehow reached into my brain and created my perfect red leather bag. It’s disrespectful that it’s not named after me and that they didn’t gift me one.
The photo is of the Betty Bag in a different color, not the red one I have linked. I couldn’t find a red Betty Bag on their IG, and this was the next best thing.
I love the curved corners, the smooth leather and the minimalistic seam on the flap. It’s chic and timeless. The red version elevates the classic silhouette to something a little more eye-catching than a classic black.
Unibrow Squared - Man Repeller
$85.00
There are a lot of things I want from the Man Repeller shop, but their new Unibrow Squared sunglasses are the first on my list. I’m partial to square sunglasses because of my round face. The only thing I’m worried about is if these sunglasses will be wide enough for me. My round face is also wide, and needs ample coverage when it comes to sunglasses.
The Unibrow Squared comes in black and speckled peach. I love the black because they also look like chic 3D movie theater glasses.
Recent Obsessions
This section is dedicated to products that I’ve recently bought and love. They aren’t big splurges because I’m on a budget these days.
Make Smooth Eyeliner - Kiss Me Heroine
Roughly $11.90 depending where you buy it from
If you regularly find yourself in bathroom mirrors wiping fallen eyeliner from under your eyes asking yourself, “Will there ever be an eyeliner that won’t give me raccoon eyes?” I have good news for you. A recent journey to St. Marks Place in the East Village left me a few dollars poorer, but a new woman. I’ve heard rumblings about this cult favorite Japanese eyeliner, Kiss Me Heroine, being unsusceptible to fallout. So when I saw it in an Asian beauty store, I bought it immediately, or whatever Ariana Grande says.
Let me tell you this eyeliner doesn’t mess around. It’s the real deal. I’ve worn this eyeliner during a full day of dog walking in the city heat and no raccoon eyes. I wore this eyeliner out dancing, and it didn’t budge. Even the pounding water coming out of my shower head didn’t affect it when I rubbed your eyes while in the shower was another story! I can’t stress this enough, buy this eyeliner. The formula alone is worth a purchase. The felt tip is very fine and will give you a precise application. This brand also makes mascara, which I will be trying out next. I have to do a few more dog walks beforehand.
Standard Baggu in Lox Plate - Baggu
$12.00
I love Baggu and use my Duck Bag in their grid pattern almost every day. I was never inclined to buy one of their cult Standard Baggu reusable bags until their new summer Lox Plate pattern dropped. I needed this bag. I craved this bag. I even made the design my phone background.
I balled out and recklessly spent $12 on the fishy tote, and I haven’t regretted it one bit. It lives in my Duck Bag, and I haven’t used a plastic bag since! This reusable bag is my everything. Who knew ripstop nylon could evoke such feelings. The Lox Plate pattern also comes in the baby size, which I’m now considering buying.
Thigh Rescue - Megababe
$14.00
It’s summer, and we can’t let thigh chafing win this year. We must all unite and fight this evil by purchasing Megababe’s Thigh Rescue anti-chafing stick. I’ve tried many anti-chafing products like baby powder, deodorant, vaseline, and Body Glide, but none are as long-lasting as Thigh Rescue.
Thigh Rescue is non-toxic, long-lasting, and slippery as hell. You can go hours without reapplying. It’s not perfect, the stick will melt if it’s left out in the heat, and some say it gets on their clothes (I haven’t had that problem), but it’s the best anti-chafe product on the market in my opinion. You can’t have a hot girl summer without it. They also sell a travel size Thigh Rescue, but it’s currently sold out.
Attention Whore
When I’m craving attention (I am a Leo sun and Leo moon after all!) I will wear something that I know will attract admirers. This section is dedicated to my things that always receive the most compliments. I’ll feature one item from my closet that myself and the public equally adore. If you want guaranteed compliments and people asking you, “Where did you by that?” then buy whatever is below. Or don’t! More compliments for me!
Thank You! Shopper - Poppy Lissiman
$115.00
You have Poppy Lissiman to thank for those skinny sunglasses that curve up at the ends, but the cult sunglasses designer also makes bags that are just as IG worthy as her sunnies. My favorite (and most adored) is her Thank You! Shopper in pink.
I first saw the Thank You! Shopper on Eva Chen’s Instagram story and immediately added it to my mental wishlist. I vowed that it would be the first thing I would purchase once my next direct deposit hit. By the end of the day, I went against my financial judgment and bought the bag and lived on ramen for a week. It was worth it.
It’s faux leather, folds up, doesn’t crease, and can be cleaned easily. It’s an attention grabber but isn’t a cult product, so everyone will be asking you where it’s from. Buy it and let the compliments roll in.